[HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT BEING SUED IS but he laughs anyway, waving his free hand.]
Of course not! There's no way I'd have remembered that. Can't recall a single word of that dish name! [His memory isn't as bad as Grune or Higekiri, but it's actually Pretty Bad...]
But credit where it's due - of course I've mentioned the recipe is yours. Doubt anyone would believe me if I tried to claim it as my own anyway, haha.
[Then, curiously, as he watches the apples be cut into:] What is it you're making now, anyway?
[Lemons weren't even around in China during his time apparently BUT FORTUNATELY, he won't look like a Mega Idiot since he's used it in other things he's made since his arrival.]
I can! [Maybe he shouldn't sound so proud of that fact though.] The whole one?
[Getting that lemon to cut it in half! Tragically he doesn't know about strainers, so he just fishes the seeds out by hand before he starts to juice it... At least his hands are clean.
While he does that:] I was thinking earlier... So many people are distracted after trials, you know? I've talked to far too many who go to sleep without having eaten all day since they're too tired or upset to eat. The last thing we want is for people to end up under the weather or weak because they aren't taking care of themselves. Would you mind giving me a hand, making and bringing food around to those who might need it?
[At that request, he actually seems to take a pause - withdrawing protectively and dragging the baking pan towards himself. Sir, that's my trauma you've just touched on.]
I don't know.
[Sharply. Then he takes a deep breath, forcibly trying to relax.]
I haven't done that for a long time. And the last time I did, it kind of ended up badly. [Hurriedly finding brown sugar, mostly just playing in it with a hand, while he tries to decide if he's gonna get Into It or not.] If anything happened, you know - a Taako cookie shows up at trial, or a batch of spaghetti passes hands too many times and someone slips something in it - it'd be my fault.
[Somehow this is the first time he's managed to stumble onto anyone's trauma accidentally OF COURSE IT'D BE TAAKO.
He makes a little sound of surprise, since that possibility hadn't crossed his mind at all.]
—Speaking from experience? [Since it's either that or just RIDICULOUS PARANOIA which, with this group, is possible... But doesn't seem likely from Taako himself. He raises a hand a little, though.]
I meant on Saturdays only, so there shouldn't be any chance for you to get wrapped up in implications - but if you don't want to risk it, then that's fair enough.
Mm. If I keep telling people about this, it's gonna start looking suspicious. I was framed, that's all.
[He doesn't think Taako is ridiculous and paranoid? He's putting off a good impression then. He seems to roll it over in his head, before he keeps going. Adding cinnamon and salt.]
Saturday only. I stay with the food the whole time, and you're on deputy watch duty. Anyone tries any shit and you immediately stab them. Got it?
Well, we'll just have to be sure it doesn't happen to you a second time, then.
[Anyway he's like, ridiculous for sure. But even Taako has yet to reach the levels of Truly Paranoid that he's used to seeing. Wild.
That said, without a damn pause:] Fair enough, as well! [STAB OR BE STABBED.] Though I doubt we'd have to worry about anything as early as Saturday night. ...Unless we do have more than one demon running rampant out there, and our possession schedule ends up overlapping a bit.
Are you a demon and this is all a ploy to hijack my food and cause me to accidentally poison people? You have to tell me if you are and I guessed right, that's the rules.
[Looking down at himself, as if that will possibly reveal his state of demonicness.]
...Well! For what little it's worth, I don't feel possessed? Though that's exactly what a demon would say. You could check my clothes for poisons and come with me when I deliver things to make sure I don't stop anywhere to add anything on the way? Mm, but I also feel like I wouldn't go for something like that if I were a demon. It'd put suspicion down to one of the two of us - fifty-fifty aren't good odds at all!
[The lemon is successfully juiced, and away he'll scoot! He leans over to peer through the oven window curiously once the dish is inside before popping back up and turning his attention over again.]
Thanks! It would have been a pain to have handled that all on my own, haha. [But if they have twenty minutes of waiting now...] Want to play a game in the meantime? Or we could just have a good drink - or both!
[He'll lean on the counter too, joining Taako in powdery clothes hell. At least they aren't touching strychnine like SOME PEOPLE IN THIS HOUSEBOAT.]
I've learned a few! Truth or dare, two truths and a lie... There's always shots roulette, too, but I think that's probably better fun with a few more people. Not that I'd say no to playing anyway, though! I think most of us could use a drink tonight.
[Reaching to just try and dig in WWX's sleeves himself - before he remembers it's still friggin aphro week and retracts his hands extremely quickly, crossing them over his chest in case of emergencies.]
Get us some drinks, won't you, pumpkin? I'll go first. I'll take a truth.
[Good thing since he's in the process of doing a Matrix-style backwards bend as soon as Taako's hands come his way. HE'S TIRED. THIS WEEK HAS LEFT HIM SO DRAINED. But it's fine, the crisis is diverted, and he's left giving Taako a Look™ instead.]
What, do you think I just carry drinks around on my person at all times?
[He says, before reaching into his merlin robes to pull out a bottle of raspberry-flavored vodka with the top fourth already missing... After setting it down on the counter, he moseys off to grab a couple of glasses and share two (hefty) pours. No mixers, apparently?? He picks up one, holding it out for a toast.]
Truth, hm? Let's see, let's see... Ah! If you hadn't decided to pursue cooking, what would you have done instead?
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[Shoving his crumble into the fridge while he goes to start slicing apples.]
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Of course not! There's no way I'd have remembered that. Can't recall a single word of that dish name! [His memory isn't as bad as Grune or Higekiri, but it's actually Pretty Bad...]
But credit where it's due - of course I've mentioned the recipe is yours. Doubt anyone would believe me if I tried to claim it as my own anyway, haha.
[Then, curiously, as he watches the apples be cut into:] What is it you're making now, anyway?
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[Deftly cutting apples! There's a lot of apples.]
Apple crisp. Like I said, one of the first recipes I learned, because it's simple, for little idiot child brains.
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Need any help? I don't really have anything left to do on this, anyway.
[Gesturing toward the pot - there are a few things left to add, but not until toward the end when he's getting ready to serve it.]
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Can you juice a lemon?
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I can! [Maybe he shouldn't sound so proud of that fact though.] The whole one?
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Just half.
[Pushing that bowl over to him, then, trusting him to take it from there.]
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[Getting that lemon to cut it in half! Tragically he doesn't know about strainers, so he just fishes the seeds out by hand before he starts to juice it... At least his hands are clean.
While he does that:] I was thinking earlier... So many people are distracted after trials, you know? I've talked to far too many who go to sleep without having eaten all day since they're too tired or upset to eat. The last thing we want is for people to end up under the weather or weak because they aren't taking care of themselves. Would you mind giving me a hand, making and bringing food around to those who might need it?
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I don't know.
[Sharply. Then he takes a deep breath, forcibly trying to relax.]
I haven't done that for a long time. And the last time I did, it kind of ended up badly. [Hurriedly finding brown sugar, mostly just playing in it with a hand, while he tries to decide if he's gonna get Into It or not.] If anything happened, you know - a Taako cookie shows up at trial, or a batch of spaghetti passes hands too many times and someone slips something in it - it'd be my fault.
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He makes a little sound of surprise, since that possibility hadn't crossed his mind at all.]
—Speaking from experience? [Since it's either that or just RIDICULOUS PARANOIA which, with this group, is possible... But doesn't seem likely from Taako himself. He raises a hand a little, though.]
I meant on Saturdays only, so there shouldn't be any chance for you to get wrapped up in implications - but if you don't want to risk it, then that's fair enough.
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[He doesn't think Taako is ridiculous and paranoid? He's putting off a good impression then. He seems to roll it over in his head, before he keeps going. Adding cinnamon and salt.]
Saturday only. I stay with the food the whole time, and you're on deputy watch duty. Anyone tries any shit and you immediately stab them. Got it?
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[Anyway he's like, ridiculous for sure. But even Taako has yet to reach the levels of Truly Paranoid that he's used to seeing. Wild.
That said, without a damn pause:] Fair enough, as well! [STAB OR BE STABBED.] Though I doubt we'd have to worry about anything as early as Saturday night. ...Unless we do have more than one demon running rampant out there, and our possession schedule ends up overlapping a bit.
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...Well! For what little it's worth, I don't feel possessed? Though that's exactly what a demon would say. You could check my clothes for poisons and come with me when I deliver things to make sure I don't stop anywhere to add anything on the way? Mm, but I also feel like I wouldn't go for something like that if I were a demon. It'd put suspicion down to one of the two of us - fifty-fifty aren't good odds at all!
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[Taking the lemon juice, assuming it's done, adding that to the oat and cinnamon mixture and pouring the whole thing over the apples then.]
Alright. Fine. I'll do it.
[Shooing WWX aside if he's in the way of the oven, to put the apple crisp in.]
That's got 20 minutes, so.
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Thanks! It would have been a pain to have handled that all on my own, haha. [But if they have twenty minutes of waiting now...] Want to play a game in the meantime? Or we could just have a good drink - or both!
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[Moving to sit his butt on the counter, since they aren't using it anymore. Ignoring he's just gonna have flour all over his ass later.]
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I've learned a few! Truth or dare, two truths and a lie... There's always shots roulette, too, but I think that's probably better fun with a few more people. Not that I'd say no to playing anyway, though! I think most of us could use a drink tonight.
[Said like he isn't constantly drinking.]
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[Reaching to just try and dig in WWX's sleeves himself - before he remembers it's still friggin aphro week and retracts his hands extremely quickly, crossing them over his chest in case of emergencies.]
Get us some drinks, won't you, pumpkin? I'll go first. I'll take a truth.
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What, do you think I just carry drinks around on my person at all times?
[He says, before reaching into his merlin robes to pull out a bottle of raspberry-flavored vodka with the top fourth already missing... After setting it down on the counter, he moseys off to grab a couple of glasses and share two (hefty) pours. No mixers, apparently?? He picks up one, holding it out for a toast.]
Truth, hm? Let's see, let's see... Ah! If you hadn't decided to pursue cooking, what would you have done instead?
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[Grabby hands for his vodka, tapping his glass against his to toast!!!!]
Oh, hm, interesting question. I mean, I've had other jobs. I was, uh, an Interstellar Science Officer? [a what] On a spaceship! [What!!!]
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One day you might be! [He will never be wrong to assume Wei Wuxian has any manner of weird shit in his sleeves, but fine.
Also, he has no idea what ANY OF THIS IS.]
--You were a what where now?