Haha, not at all! I don't even know if we have anything like an "Outsider". No, no, I'm only a human. [SURPRISINGLY... Despite the fact that he certainly acts like something that crawled out of a cave.] We just don't have foods like this where I come from.
[That said, he'll just watch as Taako decides to brave his Truly Horrific Spice Concoction and-- yeah, he shouldn't be laughing at that reaction, but he sure does anyway.]
I'm a fan of peppers. The hotter the better! It goes nicely with alcohol that way. [His tastebuds... truly are dead.
But no, he apparently is trusting this person he's only talked to like twice to not do anything heinous with his bad soup, and lets him grab it as he pleases. He got a cookie out of this so whatever happens next, that's a good enough trade for him... He will watch on curiously, though!]
[Oh. He'd jumped to a conclusion there - he just meant that he'd had a very sad good foodless existence, rather than never experiencing food at all. That's worse!
Well, if he's being allowed to do whatever he wants . . . . . he's pouring that soup right out into the sink.]
[People have been assuming all kinds of wild things IT'S IN HIS NATURE TO REASSURE HE'S STILL ONLY HUMAN. Just a human who's lived in a cave, only eating radishes. Life is hard.
And there goes his soup!!]
Ah- Hey—!? [Reaching out after it as if he can magic it back into the pot... HIS HARD (and terrible) WORK. He also gives Taako the most confused look, to boot.] A better one? What, what is it you're planning on making?
A spicy soup. [Said in the most 'obviously' tone of voice possible. Starting to bustle about, gathering ingredients quickly now - hemming and hawing over the quality or availability of exactly what he wants.] The real trick to spicy isn't just heat, it's depth of flavor. You can't just have something be hot for hot's sake, or you lose the, uh, complexity. You gotta be able to taste something besides burn. Especially if you're already numbing yourself with an alcohol pairing.
Also, I'd make my own broth normally, but that'd take a few hours and I can't really speed up time here so . . . [Sighing deeply as he uses just. Boxed chicken broth. :/]
[He actually does try to stay out of Taako's way this time, though curiosity has him stepping in to peek around him every so often as he's rummaging around. Wei Wuxian has probably not even considered like. 90% of the things Taako is right now. Honestly this "soup" he was working on was probably just like, salted soy-sauced alcohol-water with a million pounds of different chilis and some chicken pieces thrown in. Someday, someone will strike him down for his crimes against food.
But for now!! He'll just let someone who can actually cook take over.]
That's the trick, is it? But I've always found it just fine having the spice alone. There's nothing wrong with a meal that has a good fire to it! You're talking like someone who runs a restaurant. [This "complexity" and "depth of flavor" stuff!!
He's also
never seen boxed broth before.]
--That's a soup broth? Already made? None of the work, none of the hassle? Hah, we really are missing out on far too many things!
Oh, no, I've never run a restaurant. Far too confining - I ran a traveling cooking show extravaganza. Sizzle It Up with Taako! It was really starting to make waves.
[Just fine is exactly the problem isn't it? Being satisfied with something that's just fine. It's like people don't care, don't want to strive to find the next new exciting thing to put in their mouths? Taako will kill him where he stands for his food crimes. No-- for now, he's okay with just showing off in front of him. Taako works lightning fast: he's crushing garlic, grating ginger, julienning peppers with the speed of a man possessed. Tossing them all in the soup pot as he goes. Then he starts on chicken, generously spicing it up with chili powder and whatever else he can grab.]
And soup broth is hardly a hassle. You just boil stuff for a few hours. This is the lazy way out - a real bone broth is the best option.
[Tossing all that into the pot, letting it all boil - humming while he thinks and adds more ingredients - more chili peppers, soy sauce, pepper, basil, lemongrass.]
[Meanwhile, the more amazing the feats are that Taako pulls off, the more impressed and excited Wei Wuxian looks... He hadn't been paying much attention before! He'd only been focusing on how good the cookies smelled and how Taako kept moving all of his shit around!! But the speed that he moves, the skill he slices and dices, picks his flavors, adds this and that--
Haha, well. It reminds him of someone else who made soup for him a long time ago.
Anyway he's about the best audience that anyone showing off could ask for because BOY does this fool not temper his reactions.]
I see! I see, I entirely see! If it were a show like this, I'd want to watch it, too! [CLAPPING HIS HANDS. He's a high-energy person who's Always In Motion, and he darts from side to side as Taako moves, staying out of his way but always trying to get a good look at what's going on.]
What's that—? What did you add in there? Ah-- it already smells good!
Better than this! I have magic - I turn a chicken into a turkey and back again, because turkey is trash meat! I change apple cider vinegar into a balsamic in an instant. It was so good!
[He is ABSOLUTELY the best possible audience Taako could have - Taako even starts showing off more and more!! Tossing things from hand to hand and doing a stupid little dance every time he adds something. They are just feeding off each others chaotic energies at this point. Nor is he shy about showing him what he's doing? He's not secretive about it, since this is after all, a teaching exercise. Every time he's asked what he adds he just yells the ingredient out 'JALAPEÑO, NUTMEG, LIME JUICE and this is all getting very weird.
It's actually been a very long time since he's cooked with this much enthusiasm. There's a certain mania to it that suggests an edge of stress, but he's not about to talk about it. Once he's done - which isn't very long - he poses in front of the soup, spoon in the air - before taking a deep bow like he's on stage.]
[i hope someone walks into the kitchen to get a snack only to see these two just hopping around a pot of bubbling liquid yelling JALAPENOS!!! and just walks back out again
In any case, seems like neither of them are inclined to talk about the Stress Induced Edge Of Mania here. He's devoting his full attention and enthusiasm to being a good audience! He plays along, repeating ingredients, ooh-ing and aah-ing at all the right moments, applauding and spinning and just generally having way too much energy for someone who probably got like 2 hours of sleep and watched people melt For Science™.
Once it's done, Taako gets a particularly furious round of applause.]
Wonderful! Marvelous!! The best time I've ever had watching someone cook--! I can't wait to give it a try!
[At which point he'll just go nab a spoon of his own to dip into this extra spicy hell pot, carefully holding a hand below so not a drop spills. And after sampling it, the sparkles only intensify. Somehow. He must be siphoning extra energy from all the reanimated dead around here.]
—Ah! What's that? What's that?! A taste I've never had before! I see what you mean - the layer—! The complexities! Something smokey? Something like citrus, is that it? Ooh, I can't even tell what that part was, but it's good, it's good! Delicious!
That one's particularly popular with goblin crowds. Fewer tastebuds.
[Taako's ego is getting so goddamn big it might melt itself out of his ears onto the kitchen floor? His chest is all puffed up and he's particularly extravagant whenever he talks now, big hand gestures and braid flipping and all. He doesn't eat his own food - he's not particularly hungry - but he watches with all the intensity of someone watching you hold their baby for the first time. Also if he didn't like it, he'd have to kill him? So that's good at least.]
So if yours can be even a quarter, no, a tenth as good, you can stop torturing all of us with your choices.
[He is basically a goblin so that's honestly fair. Helping himself to a proper bowl of his goblin-popular soup!!]
Haha, well, I can certainly try! But nothing compares to the original, you know? It would be a terrible shame if anyone at all had to settle with my cooking when yours is right there.
[Does he just want Taako to make bigger batches of food more often so he can have an excuse to eat more of Taako's cooking?? Yeah. Yeah, he sure does.]
I think I've probably scared a couple of people off from trying anything I make, anyway!
[ Taako is stubborn but really sadly easily goaded into proving shit - such as his cooking being the best in this place - so unfortunately this tactic is working. ]
I’m not that big of an idiot. That’s exactly the excuse I use to get out of doing laundry or washing dishes or cleaning up my alchemy table when Magnus does it so much better.
Haha, well, I've collected quite a few since I woke up here. [The shitpost lives on.] But by the book, it's Wei Wuxian. Nice to meet you properly!
[Meanwhile, he's moseying back to his cookie corner to set his bowl down so he can pick that bad boy back up.]
They look like they'd make very good ones. You should! You'd probably get a good few handful of volunteers who are tired of eating those packaged ones from that vending machine.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[That said, he'll just watch as Taako decides to brave his Truly Horrific Spice Concoction and-- yeah, he shouldn't be laughing at that reaction, but he sure does anyway.]
I'm a fan of peppers. The hotter the better! It goes nicely with alcohol that way. [His tastebuds... truly are dead.
But no, he apparently is trusting this person he's only talked to like twice to not do anything heinous with his bad soup, and lets him grab it as he pleases. He got a cookie out of this so whatever happens next, that's a good enough trade for him... He will watch on curiously, though!]
no subject
Well, if he's being allowed to do whatever he wants . . . . . he's pouring that soup right out into the sink.]
. . . We're going to make you a better one.
no subject
And there goes his soup!!]
Ah- Hey—!? [Reaching out after it as if he can magic it back into the pot... HIS HARD (and terrible) WORK. He also gives Taako the most confused look, to boot.] A better one? What, what is it you're planning on making?
no subject
Also, I'd make my own broth normally, but that'd take a few hours and I can't really speed up time here so . . . [Sighing deeply as he uses just. Boxed chicken broth. :/]
no subject
But for now!! He'll just let someone who can actually cook take over.]
That's the trick, is it? But I've always found it just fine having the spice alone. There's nothing wrong with a meal that has a good fire to it! You're talking like someone who runs a restaurant. [This "complexity" and "depth of flavor" stuff!!
He's also
never seen boxed broth before.]
--That's a soup broth? Already made? None of the work, none of the hassle? Hah, we really are missing out on far too many things!
no subject
[Just fine is exactly the problem isn't it? Being satisfied with something that's just fine. It's like people don't care, don't want to strive to find the next new exciting thing to put in their mouths? Taako will kill him where he stands for his food crimes. No-- for now, he's okay with just showing off in front of him. Taako works lightning fast: he's crushing garlic, grating ginger, julienning peppers with the speed of a man possessed. Tossing them all in the soup pot as he goes. Then he starts on chicken, generously spicing it up with chili powder and whatever else he can grab.]
And soup broth is hardly a hassle. You just boil stuff for a few hours. This is the lazy way out - a real bone broth is the best option.
[Tossing all that into the pot, letting it all boil - humming while he thinks and adds more ingredients - more chili peppers, soy sauce, pepper, basil, lemongrass.]
no subject
Haha, well. It reminds him of someone else who made soup for him a long time ago.
Anyway he's about the best audience that anyone showing off could ask for because BOY does this fool not temper his reactions.]
I see! I see, I entirely see! If it were a show like this, I'd want to watch it, too! [CLAPPING HIS HANDS. He's a high-energy person who's Always In Motion, and he darts from side to side as Taako moves, staying out of his way but always trying to get a good look at what's going on.]
What's that—? What did you add in there? Ah-- it already smells good!
no subject
[He is ABSOLUTELY the best possible audience Taako could have - Taako even starts showing off more and more!! Tossing things from hand to hand and doing a stupid little dance every time he adds something. They are just feeding off each others chaotic energies at this point. Nor is he shy about showing him what he's doing? He's not secretive about it, since this is after all, a teaching exercise. Every time he's asked what he adds he just yells the ingredient out 'JALAPEÑO, NUTMEG, LIME JUICE and this is all getting very weird.
It's actually been a very long time since he's cooked with this much enthusiasm. There's a certain mania to it that suggests an edge of stress, but he's not about to talk about it. Once he's done - which isn't very long - he poses in front of the soup, spoon in the air - before taking a deep bow like he's on stage.]
I give you: Taako's Deluxe Extra Spicy Hell Pot!
[He's breathing a little hard? Yikes, Taako.]
Enjoy.
no subject
In any case, seems like neither of them are inclined to talk about the Stress Induced Edge Of Mania here. He's devoting his full attention and enthusiasm to being a good audience! He plays along, repeating ingredients, ooh-ing and aah-ing at all the right moments, applauding and spinning and just generally having way too much energy for someone who probably got like 2 hours of sleep and watched people melt For Science™.
Once it's done, Taako gets a particularly furious round of applause.]
Wonderful! Marvelous!! The best time I've ever had watching someone cook--! I can't wait to give it a try!
[At which point he'll just go nab a spoon of his own to dip into this extra spicy hell pot, carefully holding a hand below so not a drop spills. And after sampling it, the sparkles only intensify. Somehow. He must be siphoning extra energy from all the reanimated dead around here.]
—Ah! What's that? What's that?! A taste I've never had before! I see what you mean - the layer—! The complexities! Something smokey? Something like citrus, is that it? Ooh, I can't even tell what that part was, but it's good, it's good! Delicious!
no subject
[Taako's ego is getting so goddamn big it might melt itself out of his ears onto the kitchen floor? His chest is all puffed up and he's particularly extravagant whenever he talks now, big hand gestures and braid flipping and all. He doesn't eat his own food - he's not particularly hungry - but he watches with all the intensity of someone watching you hold their baby for the first time. Also if he didn't like it, he'd have to kill him? So that's good at least.]
So if yours can be even a quarter, no, a tenth as good, you can stop torturing all of us with your choices.
no subject
Haha, well, I can certainly try! But nothing compares to the original, you know? It would be a terrible shame if anyone at all had to settle with my cooking when yours is right there.
[Does he just want Taako to make bigger batches of food more often so he can have an excuse to eat more of Taako's cooking?? Yeah. Yeah, he sure does.]
I think I've probably scared a couple of people off from trying anything I make, anyway!
no subject
I’m not that big of an idiot. That’s exactly the excuse I use to get out of doing laundry or washing dishes or cleaning up my alchemy table when Magnus does it so much better.
[ Hm! ]
I’ll cook but I want something in return.
no subject
Haha, it was worth a shot. [TRAGIQUE. But he seems just as amenable to a fair trade as he's been to pretty much everything else, at least.]
Sure, sure! Fair's fair and all. Anything in mind or will you be coming to claim a favor later?
[He's already got his own Bill Of Favors stacking up.]
no subject
[Apparently, he had nothing in mind.]
no subject
[It's only fair, since he got this bombass soup in exchange. AND HIS COOKIE!! HE FORGOT ABOUT THAT.]
—What are you planning on doing with all of those, anyway? [Nodding toward the tray, wherever in this kitchen jungle it now resides.]
no subject
[Looking at the cookies, giving a half-shrug.]
I dunno! Bribes, maybe? I haven't decided.
no subject
[Meanwhile, he's moseying back to his cookie corner to set his bowl down so he can pick that bad boy back up.]
They look like they'd make very good ones. You should! You'd probably get a good few handful of volunteers who are tired of eating those packaged ones from that vending machine.
[He would 100% get got by a fresh cookie bribe.]