WEEK 5 - MONDAY

[chaoticlootral]

[Hello :) Max :)

Are you ready to want to die again. Here comes ur two favorite dudes, and they seem like they might be in kind of a bullying mood. Sorry about it.]

What's up, little homie! Listen, we've got some shit going on, figured we'd swing by and talk to the NPC. Kinda been forgetting to do that. Also, uh, need a refill on the ol' grass, while I'm at it.

Comments

[ruffboi]

We could have just talked to them this whole time? Or is this one of those, I can only give you the hint at 6 PM kinda deals. Yeah, we'll talk to them. But keep this intel coming. How fond would you say each of them is of our loveable horseshit? With one being, a little fond, and ten being captivated by our adorable antics?

[concertmaster]

Yeah, just write it down officially and I'll hand it over to them.

[he does not expand on when and how this started being a thing, because of course he doesn't?]

Jesus christ, okay, important: there is not a single person that would make me sad if they were erased, least of all the two of you. [>:/!!!!]

And, uh... Conductor probably thinks you guys are a little funny? The Composer is pretty much all X's.

[hey. max. that's meta. what does it mean.]

[chaoticlootral]

Wrong, you're totally enchanted by our lovable horseshit. You'd listen to at least 69 episodes of us farting around doing adventures.

[Already on it, pulling out the glitter pens and scribbling "do you like us? yes ▢ no ▢ meet us behind the bleachers xoxo taako and magnus" on an old McDonald's napkin.]

X's? That's meta. What the fuck does that mean, homie?

[ruffboi]

Max, there's no point to answering our questions if you're going to lie about things.

[Letting Taako do his thing!]

[concertmaster]

I would sell the both of you for a corn chip.

[he's just gonna... stare at the napkin but pocket it. this is as official as it gets with these two and he knows it]

You can ask them all about it when you meet them. I'm not in their fucking head, I don't know the intricate details of how they feel about particular Players.

[chaoticlootral]

We're irresistible to precocious children, ask anyone.

[God. So pissed he doesn't know what the FUCKING X'S ARE.]

Mm, fine, whatever, whatever. Hold out on us.

[ruffboi]

Hey, one last question for the road, little buddy. [Patting him on his head.] What do you have to do to count as an accomplice?

[concertmaster]

Irresistible like fucking chickenpox, sure.

[WHY ALWAYS WITH THE TOUCHING!!! squinting upwards angrily]

Be in the fucking room, honestly. [but, no, more seriously:] You have to help with something. Clean-up, preparation, hiding fucking knives everywhere [rip week 3], luring someone out, anything pretty much goes. [he hesitates for exactly one second before giving in on a question he will probably regret:] Why, you got an erasure planned out?

[chaoticlootral]

Nope!

[Winking, then blowing him a kiss.]

But seriously, no, not really. Just running some numbers, planning some possibilities.

[ruffboi]

Not yet, at least. But good to know, good to know. Thanks for talking to us, Max.

[Patting him on the back. Putting a napkin with Kick Me written on it on there.]

[concertmaster]

What, are you guys planning a Reaper hunt too?

[hey he's ten he knows the whole patting thing!!!! he even takes his hoodie off to grab the thing because I fully assume Magnus put it in the exact spot a normal person can't reach in the middle of their back, showing off his lovely yellow t-shirt. fun fact! it looks really, really old. and also, like someone should teach this child how to remove blood from clothing because that's very stained.

anyway he puts his hoodie back on to flip them both off]

Seriously, I hate you both.

[chaoticlootral]

Uh-- [Gross, Max?] Wait! Not done yet.

What's up the head voices? The sword dude had one. Some sort of old fashioned ghost voices, right? Haunting whispers of the dead? Also, you know you can wash things in a McDonald's sink, right?

[ruffboi]

Leave off him, Taako. [Like he wasn't just bullying him.] Some of us like blood on our clothes. It's manly.

But yeah, I'm hearing them now. Very affirming voices. You got a tip?

[concertmaster]

[shoving his hands deeper in his hoodie, looking weirdly... defensive]

Yeah. Manly, like he said. Shirt stays like it is.

[okay, weird host. anyway.]

Hmmmm. Sounds like you've gotten a meme.

[chaoticlootral]

[When Magnus tells him to leave off, dropping it like a slightly guilty dog who's been caught stealing. Listen, it's not his fault he doesn't experience emotions like normal people, and has trouble picking up obvious Tragic Backstory cues.]

Like, uh, one of those engravings of cats saying humorous misspelled things? Or, you know, a more updated meme reference. Loss dot oil painting. [Fantasy Memes.]

[ruffboi]

Ye Old Distracted Boyfriend...? Nah, that's nothing.

[Almost like their references to things that exist in their fantasy world are just bullshit.]

Mind giving just a little more info?

[concertmaster]

Is it so much to ask that your world make a tiny bit of sense?

[ oil painting a meme kills him ]

In the psychological sense. Shared ideas that are spread through the general consciousness, that kind of bullshit? Someone's trying to get a message through.

[chaoticlootral]

Just wait until we get started about elevators, homie.

[dont you just love the idea of the Distracted Boyfriend Meme and the girlfriend is an elf and that’s the only difference though.]

Sooooooo. It’s the same mumbo jumbo as the Reaper Creeper, but projected directly into brains?

[ruffboi]

Yeah, I mean, no offense, Max, but I'm not a total dingdong, I'd figured that out at trial. Who's sending them, though?

[concertmaster]

[shrugs]

What, the individuals? Fuck if I know. I'm not in direct contact with your erased pals. I've got my hands full already.

[chaoticlootral]

Helpful.

[I mean. He has an idea.]

Well, I think that’s pretty much everything. Unless you want to open up about your past a little, jam with the crew. I mean, me and my boy here are getting kinda good at it, lot of sad teens around these parts.

[ruffboi]

Mmm.

[Okay, that helps.]

Yeah, thanks for helping us, Max.

[Bending down and giving him the tiniest, sweetest kiss on top of his little head.]

[concertmaster]

Absolutely not in a million goddamn years.

[he doesn't get to reject Taako more than that before he is Personally Assaulted Forever

oh... my ... god??? he literally looks livid, trying to reach up to hit magnus higher than his knee since that is All He Can Get]

What the hell! What are you even! What is wrong with you! I will murder you, old man!!!!