Annoying one, isn't it? Haha, it's been a long time since I've run into something like this.
[BAD BAD DEMONS... But he'll helpfully wander on in the rest of the way - he'd just been planning to swing by for a snack first - and stand in front of the oven with his hands on his hips.]
It should go back to the way it was before at least, shouldn't it?
Probably, but the demon hands all over it . . . really gonna add some nasty flavor to whatever gets cooked in there, you know? Little bit of infernal aftertaste on the back of the tongue.
[Turning to him, just looking over his shoulder.]
Should I steal the rest of the knives? If you lot are going to take them all, I want to make sure I have enough to actually work with here.
[This is where he'd normally offer to purify it just as a precaution, but he's still too sore and pissed about his protection attempts not working in the least, so he just laughs.]
Guess we'll have to cook on the top, then. --And to be honest, if anyone's going to take the rest, it might as well be you. At least then we'd still get good food first even if you were to get possessed and stab someone later.
[There's a little heavy edge clinging to his usual shitpunk jest, though, that indicates some of the agitation and tension he's hiding quite well otherwise.]
Wouldn't worry about that too much, my dude. My strength scores so low that stabbing is way outta my wheel house - it'd take me two weeks to get the knife in enough to take someone out.
[Just going around, picking up the mess on the counter . . . very sadly picking up the remains of his burnt buttcape that Edelgard ripped off.]
Nah, if I was possessed . . . I think it'd be way more sneaky. That's a tip for you.
[The true fatality of this murder was that buttcape, honestly...
But he'll help out with picking up the counter mess at least, huffing out a little sigh as he goes.]
Poisonings, framings, getting someone else to do the dirty work for you - that sort of thing? Though at least it seems like this entity is prone to dramatics. Can't be too sneaky with a personality like that, hm?
[Taako snorts a laugh, because yeah? Obviously it's hugely messy. He's pulling down noodles apparently this time.]
Sometimes he just [axe swinging motion] and isn't paying enough attention to do it non-lethally. Oh-- also arms. He likes pulling those off! Robots, mostly.
[He will gladly take this titty duty over the one that might get him murdered by all the ladies that could crush the life out of him here, and immediately trots off to go find some chicken.]
You sound close. [Said with a little snicker... Fond bands of weirdos! They always sound like they have a great time.
After bringing the chicken back:] Tell me more! What did you do? Are they able to do magic like you? Did you all cook together? Haha, I'm having a little trouble picturing someone who rips off limbs being able to handle garnishing anything with a light hand.
[Hey, Taako managed to survive. Only because he prefaced it with the warning he was extremely gay, but still. Humming while he thinks.]
Close, uh, sure. Only because they've managed to cling onto me like stubborn barnacles on the ship of my fame and refuse to be cleaved off.
[Once he's got the chicken back, pushing garlic cloves and a knife over to Wei Wuxian ] Mince that. They don't do magic-- well. Merle can, supposedly, he's just very bad at it all the time. And they aren't allowed to cook, I'm the cook. They'd just mess it up. I've tried to teach Magnus a little, I mean, he's not totally useless, just like you said. Heavy-handed.
[Fortunately, he can do things like mince garlic without it all going horribly wrong in his hands! He gets started with the practiced ease of someone used to getting roped into helping Better Cooks do their thing.]
There's something to be said about that kind of tenacity, don't you think? But it does sound like a good thing you're there for them! Sounds like they'd be eating terribly without you, for sure.
Though he blinks and looks over at that, only briefly pausing in his garlic-mincing so he doesn't finish what Grune started and just take a whole damn finger off.]
—Well! You've been watching them long enough that they've likely picked a few important things up, right? Surely they'd know not to shame you by being unable to last more than a few weeks on their own.
[He's gotten so distracted with this line of thought he's actually stopped cooking for a second - only snapping back to attention when the pot starts to bubble over a little, making him curse and put a wooden spoon over it to stop the spill.]
Yeah. You think so? I mean, I left in the middle of something kinda important and time-sensitive. But who knows how time works in this place?
[Goodbye, pot water... Wei Wuxian watches some of the escaped droplets sizzle into nothingness against the side of the pot, brow briefly pinched.
After another few chops, he pushes the garlic over Taako's way.]
I did hear that two of the people who came from the same world found out that they were from different points in time. It's entirely possible we could just be put right back where we were plucked from, right?
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[BAD BAD DEMONS... But he'll helpfully wander on in the rest of the way - he'd just been planning to swing by for a snack first - and stand in front of the oven with his hands on his hips.]
It should go back to the way it was before at least, shouldn't it?
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[Turning to him, just looking over his shoulder.]
Should I steal the rest of the knives? If you lot are going to take them all, I want to make sure I have enough to actually work with here.
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Guess we'll have to cook on the top, then. --And to be honest, if anyone's going to take the rest, it might as well be you. At least then we'd still get good food first even if you were to get possessed and stab someone later.
[There's a little heavy edge clinging to his usual shitpunk jest, though, that indicates some of the agitation and tension he's hiding quite well otherwise.]
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[Just going around, picking up the mess on the counter . . . very sadly picking up the remains of his burnt buttcape that Edelgard ripped off.]
Nah, if I was possessed . . . I think it'd be way more sneaky. That's a tip for you.
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But he'll help out with picking up the counter mess at least, huffing out a little sigh as he goes.]
Poisonings, framings, getting someone else to do the dirty work for you - that sort of thing? Though at least it seems like this entity is prone to dramatics. Can't be too sneaky with a personality like that, hm?
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[Once the counter is clear enough, he's pulling down ingredients again - humming while he thinks about what he wants to make.]
One of the guys in my party at home has a penchant for chopping people right in half. That seems up their alley here.
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[Said lightly, though. He'll skirt out of the way to let Taako work, cleaning a little more as he goes.]
—Haha, really? Why in the world would he do that? Seems like it'd make an awful mess!
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Sometimes he just [axe swinging motion] and isn't paying enough attention to do it non-lethally. Oh-- also arms. He likes pulling those off! Robots, mostly.
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[Then there's no blood to spill! Just a big ol' useless limb to hurl at your enemies... Curiously, he peeks around Taako while he works.]
Sounds like an energetic group you've got if that's just one of the men you know, though. [Looking at the noodles.] --Anything I can do to help?
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[So apparently someone else is on titty duty here too.]
And energetic is a way to describe them, yeah. Weird horny bastards is another. [incredibly fondly.]
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You sound close. [Said with a little snicker... Fond bands of weirdos! They always sound like they have a great time.
After bringing the chicken back:] Tell me more! What did you do? Are they able to do magic like you? Did you all cook together? Haha, I'm having a little trouble picturing someone who rips off limbs being able to handle garnishing anything with a light hand.
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Close, uh, sure. Only because they've managed to cling onto me like stubborn barnacles on the ship of my fame and refuse to be cleaved off.
[Once he's got the chicken back, pushing garlic cloves and a knife over to Wei Wuxian ] Mince that. They don't do magic-- well. Merle can, supposedly, he's just very bad at it all the time. And they aren't allowed to cook, I'm the cook. They'd just mess it up. I've tried to teach Magnus a little, I mean, he's not totally useless, just like you said. Heavy-handed.
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There's something to be said about that kind of tenacity, don't you think? But it does sound like a good thing you're there for them! Sounds like they'd be eating terribly without you, for sure.
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Yeah. [Just stirring without looking up for a second there.] Also probably be dead? So, hopefully they aren't dead.
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Though he blinks and looks over at that, only briefly pausing in his garlic-mincing so he doesn't finish what Grune started and just take a whole damn finger off.]
—Well! You've been watching them long enough that they've likely picked a few important things up, right? Surely they'd know not to shame you by being unable to last more than a few weeks on their own.
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Yeah. You think so? I mean, I left in the middle of something kinda important and time-sensitive. But who knows how time works in this place?
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After another few chops, he pushes the garlic over Taako's way.]
I did hear that two of the people who came from the same world found out that they were from different points in time. It's entirely possible we could just be put right back where we were plucked from, right?
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Maybe. Don't want to jinx it, you know?
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[JINXING THINGS, a specialty of his. He watches with quiet curiosity while the ingredients are mixed together.]
Anything else I can do, or shall I step back and let you work your magic?