[Okay. He'll give him a carry back. Because later, Taako is going to mind that he had (lack of) feelings in public. He wants to give him the option to have them privately.]
Yeah? Maybe. You're gonna make me fight off fifteen teenage boys.
[He's just cautiously teasing, because he doesn't want to show approval or disapproval to Taako's revenge plans. He didn't do it, so he can say it all he wants.]
He didn’t— have anything to do with any of it. And I fucked it up, I fucked it up so hard that I— It’s my fucking fault it even came to that. Him in a ring with a fucking sword that doesn’t care. Doesn’t get it. If you look at the big picture. I got him killed.
I’m just giving up bits of me and I’m not even fucking sure how to get them back. I’m out here, doing this every weekend, and then I was told I had to give up you, and then I did have to give up Dick, and— what the fuck is left?
[He does come over, but he doesn’t sit - he just flops over onto his side to lay there and Magnus can sit wherever Taako’s not layin’. His bed now.]
Alright.
[ . . . ]
It’s just— bullshit. Everyone is full of words about how much Lili had to give up. This place is taking fucking everything of mine, and I just— started to let it.
[Haha. Well, that doesn't have anything to do with him, does it? It's not like he put Taako through an emotional gauntlet, pushed him to write his name down to die.
Oops?
He doesn't know what to say. He knows Taako's hatred of hollow promises. He can tell him they're ending it this week, but. He doesn't really think that's fair.]
[Well, sure, but he’s done being angry at Magnus for it. At least for the moment. Just reaching up enough to shove him.]
Looks, it’s— if I can’t have a stronger stomach for this shit than a seventeen year old girl, then what the fuck am I doing out here? You didn’t take anything.
What I mean is— I spent all last trial trying so unobviously to convince her that solving this shit doesn’t matter, that that isn’t what Dimitri asked, and she wouldn’t, uh, see it for all the friggin’ world.
She wouldn’t even look far enough to suspect me for being. Um. Let’s call it obvious.
So trying to convince her to see the bigger picture isn’t worth it. It’s up to us.
Listen, he’s depressed, but he knows a good dunk when he hears it.]
Dunk!
[Holding a hand up for a high five.]
It’s just— people act like I’m not allowed to be fucked up at the thought of losing you. Obviously I’m going to lash out when she asks if it’s right after trying to explain for weeks that there is no such fuckin’ thing as right here. She just saw an easy path that wouldn’t hurt her so bad and tried to take it. And then pretends she’d be just as hurt by it as any other choice.
I know, I know. I told them all to their face in trial, right? It's not like I thought I deserved to get voted for. I just think everybody thought of themselves as too nice to vote for a volunteer, but a killer, sure. Maybe that would be okay.
[He laughs a little, darkly.]
Apparently not, though! Guess it's hard, if it was all self defense.
[Anyway.]
You're allowed to be hurt and lash out at teenagers if I die, that's the deal. But since I lived, you gotta reign it in a little. I don't wanna have to fight him for your honor.
None of it’s okay. At least I don’t pretend to not have loyalties.
[Anyway]
Well he killed Dick without even letting him try and communicate anything to anyone, just yelling his fucking stupid one-liner and attacking him with a chainsaw. So I’ll be mean to all the teens I want, I think. You don’t think you can take him? Tonbo seems sure he can take him. He said that really cool thing about it and everything.
Of course I can take him, Taako. I'd slice that idiot clean in half if I had to. I just would then have to also slice his fifteen boyfriends and girlfriends in half, and what're you gonna do with all those bodies?
[. . .]
I agree. I don't think there was anything wrong with fighting, but it's Dick. He's not gonna try and trick you with a sneak attack. He's an actual honor guy without being a big doofus about it.
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chaoticlootral) wrote2020-06-06 03:46 pm
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Might have to be picked up and moved eventually, but he won’t complain about it. If Magnus tries. He’s very very quiet for a long time.]
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I should have fucking killed him as soon as he walked out of that ring.
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[He's just cautiously teasing, because he doesn't want to show approval or disapproval to Taako's revenge plans. He didn't do it, so he can say it all he wants.]
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[Just going to let him into the cabin.]
And you didn't. You didn't. Think he'd of killed you? Or Flayn?
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I’m just giving up bits of me and I’m not even fucking sure how to get them back. I’m out here, doing this every weekend, and then I was told I had to give up you, and then I did have to give up Dick, and— what the fuck is left?
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[He's going to go sit on the bed? Come sit, Taako.]
How about you let me figure that one out?
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Alright.
[ . . . ]
It’s just— bullshit. Everyone is full of words about how much Lili had to give up. This place is taking fucking everything of mine, and I just— started to let it.
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Oops?
He doesn't know what to say. He knows Taako's hatred of hollow promises. He can tell him they're ending it this week, but. He doesn't really think that's fair.]
Guess I took something from you, too, huh?
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Looks, it’s— if I can’t have a stronger stomach for this shit than a seventeen year old girl, then what the fuck am I doing out here? You didn’t take anything.
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[Who here has a strong stomach when it comes to the people they love?
. . . Flayn, maybe. But everyone is in varying stages of falling apart.]
There's nothing wrong with being angry, hurting. You don't have to try to not feel it.
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She wouldn’t even look far enough to suspect me for being. Um. Let’s call it obvious.
So trying to convince her to see the bigger picture isn’t worth it. It’s up to us.
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[He'll still defend Lili, but only in that - ]
She talks such a big game that we all put a bunch of expectations on her. But she is seventeen.
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Snorts a laugh.
Listen, he’s depressed, but he knows a good dunk when he hears it.]
Dunk!
[Holding a hand up for a high five.]
It’s just— people act like I’m not allowed to be fucked up at the thought of losing you. Obviously I’m going to lash out when she asks if it’s right after trying to explain for weeks that there is no such fuckin’ thing as right here. She just saw an easy path that wouldn’t hurt her so bad and tried to take it. And then pretends she’d be just as hurt by it as any other choice.
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I know, I know. I told them all to their face in trial, right? It's not like I thought I deserved to get voted for. I just think everybody thought of themselves as too nice to vote for a volunteer, but a killer, sure. Maybe that would be okay.
[He laughs a little, darkly.]
Apparently not, though! Guess it's hard, if it was all self defense.
[Anyway.]
You're allowed to be hurt and lash out at teenagers if I die, that's the deal. But since I lived, you gotta reign it in a little. I don't wanna have to fight him for your honor.
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[Anyway]
Well he killed Dick without even letting him try and communicate anything to anyone, just yelling his fucking stupid one-liner and attacking him with a chainsaw. So I’ll be mean to all the teens I want, I think. You don’t think you can take him? Tonbo seems sure he can take him. He said that really cool thing about it and everything.
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Of course I can take him, Taako. I'd slice that idiot clean in half if I had to. I just would then have to also slice his fifteen boyfriends and girlfriends in half, and what're you gonna do with all those bodies?
[. . .]
I agree. I don't think there was anything wrong with fighting, but it's Dick. He's not gonna try and trick you with a sneak attack. He's an actual honor guy without being a big doofus about it.