horny bois on the loose

[chaoticlootral]

[Or, rather, not so horny and not really on the loose at all, just crashing into a hotel room. Taako flops face down diagonally on the bed, so, deal with it Magnus.]

Comments

[ruffboi]

Hey! You got a knife, though! Nice work! Knife work, I mean. I got some, too.

[Pulling the door off his back, which is covered in knives.]

We can patch up your hat. [Does Magnus know how to sew? It's possible, I guess.]

[chaoticlootral]

Right to the point aren't you? Care to take a stab at it?

[Handing the hat over to Magnus (by putting it directly on his head) so he can inspect the knife door instead. Taako himself can actually pro-- no he definitely can't sew. He just throws clothes away when they need repairing. Trying (and failing) to pull knives out of the door.]

Well, at the very least, I feel well defended. Maybe less so since everyone else has a shitload of these now too.

[ruffboi]

Yeah. But you know what they say, about bringing a knife to a fifteen knives fight?

[Pulling 'em out, because he's so strong. The ones that are really stuck, chopping them out.]

I got my axe, but, y'know, it's murder night. So we gotta stick these knives in all your pockets, so you'll be safe.

[chaoticlootral]

[Staying out of the way so the murder isn't Magnus just accidentally chopping Taako in a tragic knifedoor incident. He does pocket a couple of them, patting his pockets to make sure they're in there securely.]

Oh, sure, sure, so we can make sure this weeks loser who kicks the bucket is, uh, me, rolling over and stabbing myself with my own pocket knives. Sounds smart, homie.

[ruffboi]

We're gonna be knocked out, so you're not going to roll around, dumbass. Anyway, you'll be glad when someone comes for you and you've got knives.

Hey, I got something else for ya, too. [Reaching into his pocket and pulling out...a gun!!!]

Freeze! I'm a Reaper and I'm gonna get you!

[chaoticlootral]

[Uh!!!!!!!!!! Hitting him with his psych??? As in just launching Magnus himself backwards, sorry, bro.]

[ruffboi]

[Amazing! Knocked back on his ass onto his knife door. He's not even mad - he gives Taako a thumbs up, clearly pleased.]

Oh shit! You got great reflexes! If I was a Reaper for real, I'd be super fucked. Good job. Though next time, you should psych one of those knives at me. [He's not the least bit offended Taako so instantly expected his betrayal.]

Anyway, this is a water gun from the toy store. But I spray painted and I think it looks pretty realistic, if you don't notice how small and shitty it is.

[chaoticlootral]

[Looking kind of proud of himself for the praise and also not noticing the instant expectation of betrayal? Sorry man. He's just jumpy, it's been a long, McFlurry fueled week, and he's had a lot of sugar. Coming over to where Magnus got flung, and if not actually offering to help him up, at least doesn't seem concerned anymore about being backstabbed.]

That's what all the dudes say about their water guns, my man.

[Holding out his hand for it though, he wants to try it out.]

[ruffboi]

It doesn't have water in it yet.

[But handing it over.]

If you get attacked by a Reaper with knives, you can whip that out and maybe buy yourself a little time to psych their knives back at them! Or, wake me up.

[chaoticlootral]

[Posing with it. Pointing it at Magnus and pulling the trigger. Nothing comes out. Much like other dudes and their water pistols. He does actually know how to at least look cool with a gun, he's done it before.]

I'll just, uh, scream, how about that? Gets both jobs done.

[ruffboi]

Sure. But in case the sleep magic is too good, scream and attack with knives.

[chaoticlootral]

Well that's my go to in any situation, so got it covered, homeboy.

[Hmmmm. Well there's no water, but. Digging around in his pile of stuff he's got squirreled away in their hidey hole, before emerging with . . . a truly disgusting envelope.]

Got some ammo.

[ruffboi]

Yuck! It's perfect. Let's sauce that jackass up.

[chaoticlootral]

Should, uh, really write a thank you note to the Composter, for this gift, turned out it was pretty helpful?

[Saucing that jackass up, a little too pleased by the concept of hitting a Reaper with rancid BIg Mac sauce.]

[ruffboi]

I mean, he likes McFlurries, and we do have one.

[Obviously he's pleased, too? His serious gift, for Taako's protection, went over well.]

[chaoticlootral]

[Holding the Big Mac Gun to Mannequin Taako's head, and holding out a hand to Magnus.]

All your money, or this beautiful vision gets it.

[ruffboi]

Not Taako! Not my prettiest magical friend! Here - I don't have any money, but I have this.

[Handing him a coupon for a free backrub.]

[chaoticlootral]

[What is...........what is this.................why magnus.]

When did you even make this? Who were you planning on giving it to? I have so many questions, amigo, and I don't want the answers to any of them.

[Shooting Magnus in the chest with sauce.]

[ruffboi]

Yuck! Save that sauce! [Listen he's not picky but gross???]

Anyway, I haven't decided yet. Maybe the Calculator. But as a trick. He wants a backrub from me, so he reveals his identity. Or you can have it!

[chaoticlootral]

[ Magnus has a new status effect: Stinky, and it has radiant damage. Taako regrets this immediately. ]

I don’t want this. [ Blunt. ] Give it to the Contracter. Shitty plan, but, uh, we’ve pulled off shittier. [ Putting the gun in his waistband though, like a good dude. ]

[ruffboi]

Maybe I'll just put it in my pocket for inventory check, because it's funny.

[Wiping himself off with a napkin.]

Anything else we should do? Hmm...this week's murder is probably gonna involve knives. Should we, uh, paint ours or something?

[chaoticlootral]

. . . Probably, though I don’t see how it’d prove anything. We could have just not painted one and used it.

[Still, looking around for paint? God he just was overtaken by knife lust, he didn’t think this through.]

Suppose that’s not really a narrowing down tactic. Everyone had opportunity to get knives.

[ruffboi]

Yeah but if we both know we painted all of them... I mean, even if you wanted to leave one or two not painted just in case, I don't have to notice. We could paint most of them. And then we can just say, yeah, we turned out our pockets and all the knives were painted, for sure. Bevause we just accidentally didn't notice.

You got the green can somewhere, right?

[chaoticlootral]

Leave the lying to me, compadre, I’m good at it.

[Yup, it’s in his pile - shaking it up, starting to paint some knives a nice neon shade of green. It’s very artistic.]

Careful you don’t get any children’s size t-shirts in the way, don’t want to cause a scene.

[ruffboi]

Don't get it on the handle, it won't stay sharp.

I'm just saying that for whatever reason they're letting partners vouch for each other. Like, with clothes shopping and things! Which is dumb. But good, because we can just vouch for each other on whatever. Taako couldn't strangle anyone 'cause he's got weak hands. Seen it a hundred times.